Cicada’s Buzz Finally Explained: Powerful Protection Magic Keeping Florida Safe

If you’ve been in Florida for a couple of years, then you’re probably familiar with the buzzing sound of cicadas. Their electricity-like call can often be heard during the summer months, but the bugs themselves are rarely seen, earning them the nickname “Florida Fairies.” A new study has revealed that the nickname may be more … Continue reading Cicada’s Buzz Finally Explained: Powerful Protection Magic Keeping Florida Safe

Researchers Discover Source of Perpetual Energy: George Washington Spinning in Grave

Researchers working with the United States Department of Energy have announced their latest discovery: a free and perpetual source of electricity capable of powering over half the country. The team of scientists say that the idea came to them when a Virginian groundskeeper reported a tumbling noise coming from one of America’s most venerated gravesites. … Continue reading Researchers Discover Source of Perpetual Energy: George Washington Spinning in Grave

Federal Investigators Claim Almost Everyone is an Alien

A military study into the possibility that extraterrestrials may be living on our planet has come to an end, and the team of investigators and scientists based out of MacDill Air Force Base who conducted the study have come to a startling conclusion: everyone except them is an alien. “We were really shocked,” said Dr. … Continue reading Federal Investigators Claim Almost Everyone is an Alien

Trump Mistakes Literal Red Tide for Figurative “Red Wave,” Tells Governor Scott to Keep Up Good Work

According to a source close to Rick Scott, President Trump recently reached out to the governor to congratulate him on increasing the severity of this year’s red tide epidemic, an algae bloom that is wreaking havoc on Florida’s gulf coast and putting stress on an already fragile ecosystem. “The President is very pleased,” said our … Continue reading Trump Mistakes Literal Red Tide for Figurative “Red Wave,” Tells Governor Scott to Keep Up Good Work

BREAKING: Universal Studios Introduces Real Dementors to Wizarding World of Harry Potter

And just when you thought there was no way Universal Studios Florida could top itself, guests of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter were surprised to learn that the team behind Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley had unveiled an unannounced new attraction: real dementors. For the uninitiated, dementors are wraith-like creatures from the Harry Potter series … Continue reading BREAKING: Universal Studios Introduces Real Dementors to Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Kenwood Witch Coven Protests Proposed Canal

A women's group based in St. Petersburg's historic Kenwood neighborhood protested a new canal planned for the area yesterday morning. The women, who call their group the Muskeg Occult Preservation Society, or MOPS, gathered outside City Hall with signs painted with “Justice for Swamp Witches,” and “For the Love of God, Stop Draining the Swamp,” … Continue reading Kenwood Witch Coven Protests Proposed Canal

What to Sacrifice to the Craw-God Before Hunting for Mudbugs with your Kids

The wet season is upon us here in Florida, and while that means preparing for hurricanes, figuring out how to lower your power bill, and trying to stay cool, it’s also the best time of year to take the family out hunting for crawdads. But before you grab the buckets and wrangle up the kids, … Continue reading What to Sacrifice to the Craw-God Before Hunting for Mudbugs with your Kids