Federal Investigators Claim Almost Everyone is an Alien

A military study into the possibility that extraterrestrials may be living on our planet has come to an end, and the team of investigators and scientists based out of MacDill Air Force Base who conducted the study have come to a startling conclusion: everyone except them is an alien. “We were really shocked,” said Dr. … Continue reading Federal Investigators Claim Almost Everyone is an Alien

Trump Mistakes Literal Red Tide for Figurative “Red Wave,” Tells Governor Scott to Keep Up Good Work

According to a source close to Rick Scott, President Trump recently reached out to the governor to congratulate him on increasing the severity of this year’s red tide epidemic, an algae bloom that is wreaking havoc on Florida’s gulf coast and putting stress on an already fragile ecosystem. “The President is very pleased,” said our … Continue reading Trump Mistakes Literal Red Tide for Figurative “Red Wave,” Tells Governor Scott to Keep Up Good Work